Driving is for the birds.

Ok, so I had a hell of a time getting to work today. I live in the "big city" and there is nothing worse than having to drive into the general downtown area (in my case, the 'hood) at 8am. I planned to take my usual route to the office, but was thwarted, again, by insane traffic that jumped off the highway hoping to enjoy a little piece of my coveted back road zone. There is a massive reconstruction project going on here on the main freeway getting into downtown, so I have been avoiding it like the plague, and I get much satisfaction from driving the side road right alongside it and watching the traffic at a standstill. My smug, satisfied attitude however, came to its own screeching halt today when the cars were backed up to Winnipeg on my side route. Soooo, I go to Plan B, right? Well, my ass is thwarted YET AGAIN by this old bag in a late model Toyota Camry who is going 15 MPH under the speed limit through the neighborhood. I get to the main intersection and of course she turns left where I have to go so now I have another 5 blocks of moving like molasses in January. I get to the other main road and of course, she is going the same direction, but now I have 2 lanes so we're good right? NOOOOOOOO, I try to move out into the left lane in a 50 MPH zone and she drifts into that lane and goes 30! At this point I am considering some kind of demo derby action, but I refrain, as my car is leased and I have to turn it in soon. Finally get out and around only to be.....

*cut off 4 times by people who are apparently as late as I am but have complete disregard for the location of my front bumper.

*stuck behind another old bat who had an issue with brake slamming at every intersection. All of them. For 16 blocks.

*jacked up while some gal in a Jeep did her makeup and made me miss not one but two traffic lights.

*sent into heart failure while a drunk that resides near my ghetto fab place of employment stumbles out into the road so I have brake slam/swerve/swear while avoiding sending him to an earlier grave than that for which he was headed. Then he cussed me out for coming so close........

I make it to work and my co-worker parks so close to me that I am wedged in and know I will have to do a 220 point turn to get out and go get lunch. Awesome.

Hiring a freaking driver...........