Have Had It

Ok, so I know I haven't been around lately but sometimes s**t gets to be a bit much and all that, you know? It has been an interesting few weeks, that is for sure.......

I had like, 3 or 4 weekends STRAIGHT with the excruciating back issue. Just totally pisses me off because I can't get JACK done and I get all wigged out when things around my house start getting out of control and all that. Then I am again with the risk of a CPS investigation for child labor, since I can't move and have to ask the 3.5 year old to help mama. And of course, after the issues resolves itself, I ask her to do something and she tells me her back hurts. Nice, smarty britches, really nice......

I have to tell you all that dating after the age of say, 35, is for the G-D DAMN BIRDS! I cannot figure out why men are assholes, but they are. I meet a guy and one of 2 things happens, they end up being total freaks or they waste about 2 days of my time chatting me up and then disappear. WTF? Allow me to share an example of each so that I may give you a clear insight into the hell that is my dating life right now......


Idiot Numero 1:

Chat with dude who has been talked up by friend of a friend and he seems great. Nice, good job, house in good neighborhood, etc. Talk on phone for 3 days and make breakfast date (only to accommodate scheduling issues). Arrive at date at appointed time, place, etc. Dude pulls up in this POS car that is supposedly used regularly for like rally races/demo derby. Has no muffler. Am told his other car is a mini van and he thought this was better! (Puh-freaking-leeze) Anyhoo, was told this boy was 5"11, average body type. He gets out of car and I can assure all of you out there that the person who gave said description is either blind or on crack or both because this MFer was 5'7 on a GOOD day, and there was a.....wait for it.....BEACH BALL under his flipping polo shirt. He looked more pregnant than my pal who had twins several years ago. UGH. So, obviously, since I was raised nicely and can't just flee, I remind myself that he mentioned something about owning a bicycle and figure I can talk him into using it later. So we go in and order, etc and I now find out that he LOVES to hear himself talk. I think it is his favorite activity. Now, I love to talk myself (duh) but this was ridiculous. To get to the best part of this story, we leave breakfast, I say thanks, think I need a nap from the boredom and go. Call up mom and gal pal as soon as I walk in for updating purposes. Gal Pal proposes we meet at pub after lunch for full story. Go to pub around 1p. I left breakfast at 10:30a and at 2p, text goes off indicating a picture message. Now, this guy has a job in a lab and the pic was of him in a lab coat and big, blue CHEMICAL RUBBER GLOVES, and the caption says....I swear...."Wanna Play Doctor" WTF? I must have made a strange noise because my Pal looks and says "WHAT? WHAT IS IT?" I show her the phone and all she can say is "OMFG". I can hardly blame her for being rendered speechless, because I was too! I mean, come on! Who asks you that 4 freaking hours after they meet you? Gross. So, of course, no matter how nicely I was raised, I text back "Creepy" and never return any communication from there on out. He finally got the picture after a week. Asswipe.

Idiot Numero 2:

Behind door number 2 we have a different asshole that also came highly recommended from friend of a friend. I took the time to ask yet another acquaintance if this guy was a tool or not and was told "No! Great Guy!" Hooray for me! Again, we chat online, text, etc. He blows up my frigging phone for a week, starting at 8am and going until 10pm. We make plans to meet. He has to cancel due to emergency. We make new plan to meet, he has to cancel again. Sends me message saying "Let's do something Wednesday (this is on a Monday 3 weeks ago) I say "Sure." That was the last time I heard from him. Asshole.

What in the world is it with guys? I mean, it is not ok to be creepy, icky, nasty, gross with a chick 22 seconds after you meet her, and it is also not ok to totally blow someone off after 2 weeks of constant chatter. If you are some freaky sex fiend, there are places where you can pay to "play doctor". And if you met someone else or got back with your ex or simply don't like me after all, just F**KING SAY SO! Damn! So, I think I am just going to chill on the dudes for awhile. Because they are a waste of my precious girl time with my daughter and my pals. F guys.

Considering chicks or the nunnery,

R