Had a phone call from the Daddy of Little Boo Boo today, alerting me to the fact that she was awarded Super Star status today at school, and was subsequently presented with a cardboard plaque describing the achievement. I was beside myself with pride, considering that her behavior at school has been less than exemplary lately. I had been a bit worried that the multiple bad reports were giving her a bad rep, and we all know how that goes. Won't be long before I am getting a call from the Columbus Five-Oh letting me know my little angel has been picked up for truancy, weed smoking, or something else equally distasteful. What would the neighbors think? So I commended her on her fabulous award and she dropped the phone on my ear to go watch Hannah Montana. At least she said "Thank you Mommy" before she took off. Sigh.....
I was thinking then that it would sure be nice if they had some kind of Mommy Star award. I mean, seriously, I am fully aware that Mommies are supposed to be selfless, but it would be kind of sweet now and then to know we are the Super Stars we aspire to be each day. Even when we have just said, "No more cookies." and gotten the hairy eyeball in return. If we did occasionally get the Super Star Mommy Award, then we could pull it out and remember that it's all good when we are getting said hairy eyeball, or whatever. And I personally think we all need this from time to time.
Now, since I don't know who "they" are that would be passing out such an award, and because I know it would never be the children themselves, husbands, or boyfriends, then we will have to start a coalition of our own, I suppose. Sort of like an Academy for Super Star Mommies. I am guessing it would have to be run by other mommies, or nothing would ever get accomplished, since we are the only ones who can multi-task in this manner. So, my co-mommies of the world, let's think of starting up this coalition, banding together in the fight for equal Super Star status on the planet, and come up with a plan for distributing these much needed awards. Morale can be low in Mommy Land, and with the crappy news stories and s**t economy, we don't need anything else bringing us down. Let me know if you would like to join the cause. And if you know a deserving Mommy, swipe some of your little one's construction paper and a marker, maybe a sticker or two, and make your favorite Mommy a Super Star award! She'll appreciate it. And don't forget to put a gold star on the chart for the Little Super Star, or you could get that eyeball again......
Going for the markers and paper, and taking a stand..........
Monday, February 9, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Ridiculous Stuff-ListMania #2
I took little Boo to the Center of Science and Industry Sunday to see the frog exhibit. Very nice until she weed in her pants twice and we had to abort the mission. I think I am going to abort all missions for a bit until she gets the wee thing under control. Boring, but necessary. I am pretty confident that the friends we went with will never invite us to do anything again after this little fiasco. At least until Boo is 15 or something. Christ.
SOOOO... I observed some ridiculous things over the weekend and as I paid closer attention to my surroundings, I found a few more. I shall share them with you here and please, as always, feel free to add to the list!
1. The over use of acronyms in modern English. Example: "I went to COSI this weekend and saw all kinds off cool exhibits put on by NASA, the AMA, NOAA, and the WWF. Then I went to Wal Mart to get some stuff and saw it was approved by the FDA, which was great, and there was construction going on but all the workers were following OSHA guidelines, so I wasn't worried." Seriously. I am just as lazy as the next person, but some if this crap has to stop. Especially the organizations that use this method to spell stuff out. You all know who you are, but half the time I don't, so please, just tell me.
2. People who go to places like COSI and put their child on that little thing that looks like a teddy bear backpack with a string but is in actuality, a leash. I would be hard pressed not to yank on that thing as if my wiener dog were attached to the other end and he was sniffing icky trash. Why have one of those? Why not get a collar to match? That'd be cute! If you think your child will wander off because your attention span is short and you are that lazy, perhaps parenting is not for you. Otherwise, get a stroller or have you child hold your hand like normal parents. Come on.
3. People who put the model of their automobile on their license plate. This is just a waste as far as I am concerned. I was behind a Mitsubishi Montero yesterday and the licence plate said just that, Montero. Wow. I have personalized plates, but they have my nickname on them. And my nickname is different, as in, NOT OBVIOUS! The fine people at Nissan have conveniently put the model name of my car on the back of it, in case I forget, so it isn't necessary for me to pay the state extra moola to have MURANO posted on it. It saddens me that they don't encourage more creativity in this country. Sheesh.
4. While we are discussing cars, I also think those black and white stickers that have the letters of some place you have been on holiday on them are stupid too. You know, the ones that resemble the stickers on European automobiles, that are there for a REASON! They are used to identify cars when they cross from one country into the next, not to let people know where their favorite resort is. Criminey. I personally don't care if you have been to Put-In-Bay, and I love the place. Spend your money on another drink there and leave the goofy-ass stickers behind. If I want to know where you have been on vay-cay, I'll ask ya. And if you tell me with your car to vote for McCain, your kid is an honor student, or that you are cooler than me, well, you may get the finger. But you put yourself out there so don't be hacked off. And frankly, I would be embarrassed if my car had a loser's name slapped on the back. So unless you know for sure your candidate will win, I would vote AGAINST the political bumper sticker.
5. And last but not least.....people who beat their children in public places. Let me start out by saying that I am in no way against the occasional spank, especially if the child has put him or herself in harm's way. However, when the kid is yelling in the ice cream aisle at Wal Mart because mama said "No" to the gallon of chocolate swirl, and then proceeds to beat them into silent submission, she probably should not be allowed to procreate. They entered the "Yummy Treat Zone" with the child, and then are somehow surprised when the little angel cries over the ice cream denial. I see it almost every week at my local supermarkets. That mom or dad clearly didn't read the memo on "How Not To Look Like Trash When Shopping At WalMart Or Anywhere Else." If you have to do a spank for whatever reason, go to the loo, the car, or abort the mission and go home. So much easier than 25 other customers reaching for their cell phones to call CPS on you. Sheesh.
There's my rant. Rant back.
Breathing deeply......
SOOOO... I observed some ridiculous things over the weekend and as I paid closer attention to my surroundings, I found a few more. I shall share them with you here and please, as always, feel free to add to the list!
1. The over use of acronyms in modern English. Example: "I went to COSI this weekend and saw all kinds off cool exhibits put on by NASA, the AMA, NOAA, and the WWF. Then I went to Wal Mart to get some stuff and saw it was approved by the FDA, which was great, and there was construction going on but all the workers were following OSHA guidelines, so I wasn't worried." Seriously. I am just as lazy as the next person, but some if this crap has to stop. Especially the organizations that use this method to spell stuff out. You all know who you are, but half the time I don't, so please, just tell me.
2. People who go to places like COSI and put their child on that little thing that looks like a teddy bear backpack with a string but is in actuality, a leash. I would be hard pressed not to yank on that thing as if my wiener dog were attached to the other end and he was sniffing icky trash. Why have one of those? Why not get a collar to match? That'd be cute! If you think your child will wander off because your attention span is short and you are that lazy, perhaps parenting is not for you. Otherwise, get a stroller or have you child hold your hand like normal parents. Come on.
3. People who put the model of their automobile on their license plate. This is just a waste as far as I am concerned. I was behind a Mitsubishi Montero yesterday and the licence plate said just that, Montero. Wow. I have personalized plates, but they have my nickname on them. And my nickname is different, as in, NOT OBVIOUS! The fine people at Nissan have conveniently put the model name of my car on the back of it, in case I forget, so it isn't necessary for me to pay the state extra moola to have MURANO posted on it. It saddens me that they don't encourage more creativity in this country. Sheesh.
4. While we are discussing cars, I also think those black and white stickers that have the letters of some place you have been on holiday on them are stupid too. You know, the ones that resemble the stickers on European automobiles, that are there for a REASON! They are used to identify cars when they cross from one country into the next, not to let people know where their favorite resort is. Criminey. I personally don't care if you have been to Put-In-Bay, and I love the place. Spend your money on another drink there and leave the goofy-ass stickers behind. If I want to know where you have been on vay-cay, I'll ask ya. And if you tell me with your car to vote for McCain, your kid is an honor student, or that you are cooler than me, well, you may get the finger. But you put yourself out there so don't be hacked off. And frankly, I would be embarrassed if my car had a loser's name slapped on the back. So unless you know for sure your candidate will win, I would vote AGAINST the political bumper sticker.
5. And last but not least.....people who beat their children in public places. Let me start out by saying that I am in no way against the occasional spank, especially if the child has put him or herself in harm's way. However, when the kid is yelling in the ice cream aisle at Wal Mart because mama said "No" to the gallon of chocolate swirl, and then proceeds to beat them into silent submission, she probably should not be allowed to procreate. They entered the "Yummy Treat Zone" with the child, and then are somehow surprised when the little angel cries over the ice cream denial. I see it almost every week at my local supermarkets. That mom or dad clearly didn't read the memo on "How Not To Look Like Trash When Shopping At WalMart Or Anywhere Else." If you have to do a spank for whatever reason, go to the loo, the car, or abort the mission and go home. So much easier than 25 other customers reaching for their cell phones to call CPS on you. Sheesh.
There's my rant. Rant back.
Breathing deeply......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
