I saw a guy driving down the road today near my place of employment in a really beat up old pickup truck. The bed of said pickup truck was filled with shopping carts. I work in the total ghetto. I am guessing that this dude was NOT doing Kroger a favor and gathering them up for return. He was going about 10mph in this truck. Pretty sure weight was only half the issue.
I love the colorfulness of the ghetto.
While we are on the subject of ghetto fabulousness, check out one of my fave new websites:
www.peopleofwalmart.com
You will pee your pants laughing. I know my mother probably had a word with me at some point about not laughing at other people's expense, but sorry, some people just set themselves up for shit like that. Seriously, I haven't laughed so hard in my life over some of the photos posted on there. The guy that came up with this is awesome.
I wish now that I would have taken a pic of the dude with the carts in his truck. I could start my own ghetto fab website. :)
Lookin' for a new digital camera..........
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
I remembered......
today when I was talking to my girlfriend, that we like to share jacked up shit we see while driving. Here is today's highway tale, though it happened several months back.
Driving down I-71S in Columbus toward the I-71, I-70 split. It is allegedly documented that this is the most dangerous strip of road in the state of Ohio. I have no proof of this, but it does blow driving through there, and it does not help when people hold up the works like today's Winner of the "You're An Asshole Driver" award.......
Traffic going much slower than usual for the time of day in aforementioned area. Finally get into left lane to get around. Note that it is the white P.O.S van 3 cars ahead. Speed up a bit to see what the hell is going on. Look over and see driver (male, but irrelevant) BRUSHING HIS TEETH. No shit. He was doing f**king TOOTH CARE WHILE OPERATING A MOTOR VEHICLE! On the most dangerous stretch of highway in the state. Allegedly. But still. I'm just sayin'.....
Really?
Driving down I-71S in Columbus toward the I-71, I-70 split. It is allegedly documented that this is the most dangerous strip of road in the state of Ohio. I have no proof of this, but it does blow driving through there, and it does not help when people hold up the works like today's Winner of the "You're An Asshole Driver" award.......
Traffic going much slower than usual for the time of day in aforementioned area. Finally get into left lane to get around. Note that it is the white P.O.S van 3 cars ahead. Speed up a bit to see what the hell is going on. Look over and see driver (male, but irrelevant) BRUSHING HIS TEETH. No shit. He was doing f**king TOOTH CARE WHILE OPERATING A MOTOR VEHICLE! On the most dangerous stretch of highway in the state. Allegedly. But still. I'm just sayin'.....
Really?
Things That Suck-ListMania #2
Yeah, yeah. I know I have been out of touch and didn't realize just how long it had been til I logged on, so sorry. I'll leave it at that. But I SWEAR I will get better, because darling BF is all over me to get back to writing.
Here is my most recent compilation of Things That Suck. Let me know your thoughts, feelings, etc. xoxoxoxox
1. Packing tape.
2. Family members who insist on buying my child candy and playhouses large enough to hold a convention in. The playhouse in question is also supposed to be foldable, but I had two physics professors look at it and no one can figure it out.
3. Drivers who come to a complete stop at green lights. This actually happened to me today, and I nearly had "Windstar" permanently embedded in my forehead.
4. Packing to move house. I have done this at least 18 times. You would think I would be a pro by now. I will actually put it off until 2 days before the movers arrive, and then weep openly about how much crap I still have to pack.
5. Mysterious black spots on my carpet. I know its mold. I know there is nothing I can do about it. I know I am grossed out. I know I will never let my child drink anything unless she is standing in the bathtub ever again.
6. Getting up in the dark. Face it, that totally blows.
7. "Quota time" on my work computer. This means that we have 6 ten minute increments each day to get on websites that are "filtered". How am I supposed to screw off at work in 10 minute increments? Professional slackers need much more time than this.
8. Asshole neighbors. I have a few. I am moving. This is the only thing I like about moving.
9. Yogurt. I don't like the word. I don't like the smell. I don't like the icky smudges left behind when my darling daughter uses it as finger paint. On my wood table. That requires Pledge. Which I am consistently out of.
10. Freaking packing tape.
That's all for now, friends. Off to cut off another finger on the edge of a cardboard box. :)
Here is my most recent compilation of Things That Suck. Let me know your thoughts, feelings, etc. xoxoxoxox
1. Packing tape.
2. Family members who insist on buying my child candy and playhouses large enough to hold a convention in. The playhouse in question is also supposed to be foldable, but I had two physics professors look at it and no one can figure it out.
3. Drivers who come to a complete stop at green lights. This actually happened to me today, and I nearly had "Windstar" permanently embedded in my forehead.
4. Packing to move house. I have done this at least 18 times. You would think I would be a pro by now. I will actually put it off until 2 days before the movers arrive, and then weep openly about how much crap I still have to pack.
5. Mysterious black spots on my carpet. I know its mold. I know there is nothing I can do about it. I know I am grossed out. I know I will never let my child drink anything unless she is standing in the bathtub ever again.
6. Getting up in the dark. Face it, that totally blows.
7. "Quota time" on my work computer. This means that we have 6 ten minute increments each day to get on websites that are "filtered". How am I supposed to screw off at work in 10 minute increments? Professional slackers need much more time than this.
8. Asshole neighbors. I have a few. I am moving. This is the only thing I like about moving.
9. Yogurt. I don't like the word. I don't like the smell. I don't like the icky smudges left behind when my darling daughter uses it as finger paint. On my wood table. That requires Pledge. Which I am consistently out of.
10. Freaking packing tape.
That's all for now, friends. Off to cut off another finger on the edge of a cardboard box. :)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Helllllloooooooooooo
OMG, I know, I suck, but I am here and I promise I have good stuff and I will attempt to make you all laugh at some point........(lovely run-on sentence...am not editing)
So, right, I have been a bit lax in my blogging, but for reasons I cannot mention at this juncture, I have a feeling I will have a bit more time to keep up. Stay tuned for further updates.
No, I did not quit my day job (or my night job for that matter), as much as there are days I would love to. For instance, how about last week when I got into an insane phone battle with a doctor? I have pretty much had it with doctors. I graduated in 1996 with my degree in Respiratory Therapy. I have been treated like shit by doctors since that time. I think we can all agree that 13 years is long enough to be treated like shit by anyone, even those with advanced degrees. So I am on a Doctors-Treating-Me-Like-Shit Boycott. The doctor in question is one with whom our company has done a great deal of business in past years. This particular doctor is also mental. I made several valiant attempts to make him understand that certain insurance companies only pay for things "sometimes" meaning, "not 8 or 9 times a year". He feels that it is my duty as an RT and manager of the department to circumvent said insurance companies and give these patients what he tells me to. However, if I do so, we will not get paid. Not ONE DIME. So he essentially makes a habit of having me give things away for FREE! Well, we can all rest assured that this asswipe isn't giving away one minute of his "professional services" away for free now, can't we? And I am not the State Medicaid office, so I put my tiny little high-heeled shoe DOWN and say, "No, that's it, no more free shit for you!" Apparently, he does not like to be told "No". Nor do I, but as I was taught in my early years, you can't have everything. (I still think that's a crock of shit but that's another story) Anyhoo, shortly after his "Operation Antagonize Robyn Over The Phone" is completed, I start getting phone calls from a competitor. Here is how the bulk of them go:
Competitor: "Hello, did you happen to receive an order for a Mr. _______ regarding a _____(piece of equipment).
Me: "Why, yes, yes I did! Just now as a matter of fact. Why do you ask?" (I know damn well what's coming)
Comp: (slightly smug) "Well, we have just received the same order from Dr.____with a note to ring you and tell you to disregard." (Bastard can't call himself and tell me he is sending my patient elsewhere.....nooooo, to civilized)
Me: (condescending and bitchy) "Oh, no problem, we weren't going to do it as the patient is not eligible through the insurance to receive_______. You do realize you won't get paid either?"
Comp: "I am just going by the notes here."
Me: " Oh, I see. Well, have fun in your next insurance audit. Shall I transfer the records of Mr. _____? Or will they just be seeing you for this one free piece of equipment?"
Comp: "We will call you if we need the records"
Me: "Right-o. Have a beautiful day!"
This conversation happens 5 or so more times throughout the remainder of the day. Now, WTF is this dude trying to accomplish? Because in my mind, the patient loses, having been turfed someplace against his/her will for something he/she may or may not want; I lose because he is turfing my patients to another company against their will and mine, and he gains nothing other than the satisfaction of getting SOMEONE (doesn't matter who) to do what he wants regardless of the consequences. So, dude is on some kind of f**ked up power trip and I am left holding the bag, as it were.
Well, worry not my friends, because I have a plan! Really, when do I not have a plan, but seriously, I am working on Operation Dr. ____ Smackdown!!!!! I have recently gotten word that there is some BIG TIME competition for this guy in town, so I have been gently and happily referring ALL my patients to the competition, who, I must share, is a much more, how shall I say?....APPEALING outfit. So far, I have had good responses from my peeps. They are pleased that said new firm exists and are asking for more info. Haha! This Dr. ________does not know who he is messin' with! I mean, fair's fair right? You send my peeps to MY competition to make YOU happy? Fine, but I'll do you one better and send them to YOUR competition to make THEM happy! And Voila! my patients and I win and I am back to being RT of the Year. :) Ching!
I really f**king hate doctors. Really.
Other than that, I have been packing to move house yet again. Since I left home for college, (in 19**) I have moved approximately 1, 247 times. At least it feels that way. But this go 'round, I have the luxury of time, so I am slowly packing and pitching, then taking said packed items to my new residence (that of my fantastic BF) and storing them until all my belongings are there. Very organized, me.
So, as I mentioned earlier, stay tuned. I have lots to write about and catch you all up on.....back VERY soon.....
Tangled in packing tape....................................
So, right, I have been a bit lax in my blogging, but for reasons I cannot mention at this juncture, I have a feeling I will have a bit more time to keep up. Stay tuned for further updates.
No, I did not quit my day job (or my night job for that matter), as much as there are days I would love to. For instance, how about last week when I got into an insane phone battle with a doctor? I have pretty much had it with doctors. I graduated in 1996 with my degree in Respiratory Therapy. I have been treated like shit by doctors since that time. I think we can all agree that 13 years is long enough to be treated like shit by anyone, even those with advanced degrees. So I am on a Doctors-Treating-Me-Like-Shit Boycott. The doctor in question is one with whom our company has done a great deal of business in past years. This particular doctor is also mental. I made several valiant attempts to make him understand that certain insurance companies only pay for things "sometimes" meaning, "not 8 or 9 times a year". He feels that it is my duty as an RT and manager of the department to circumvent said insurance companies and give these patients what he tells me to. However, if I do so, we will not get paid. Not ONE DIME. So he essentially makes a habit of having me give things away for FREE! Well, we can all rest assured that this asswipe isn't giving away one minute of his "professional services" away for free now, can't we? And I am not the State Medicaid office, so I put my tiny little high-heeled shoe DOWN and say, "No, that's it, no more free shit for you!" Apparently, he does not like to be told "No". Nor do I, but as I was taught in my early years, you can't have everything. (I still think that's a crock of shit but that's another story) Anyhoo, shortly after his "Operation Antagonize Robyn Over The Phone" is completed, I start getting phone calls from a competitor. Here is how the bulk of them go:
Competitor: "Hello, did you happen to receive an order for a Mr. _______ regarding a _____(piece of equipment).
Me: "Why, yes, yes I did! Just now as a matter of fact. Why do you ask?" (I know damn well what's coming)
Comp: (slightly smug) "Well, we have just received the same order from Dr.____with a note to ring you and tell you to disregard." (Bastard can't call himself and tell me he is sending my patient elsewhere.....nooooo, to civilized)
Me: (condescending and bitchy) "Oh, no problem, we weren't going to do it as the patient is not eligible through the insurance to receive_______. You do realize you won't get paid either?"
Comp: "I am just going by the notes here."
Me: " Oh, I see. Well, have fun in your next insurance audit. Shall I transfer the records of Mr. _____? Or will they just be seeing you for this one free piece of equipment?"
Comp: "We will call you if we need the records"
Me: "Right-o. Have a beautiful day!"
This conversation happens 5 or so more times throughout the remainder of the day. Now, WTF is this dude trying to accomplish? Because in my mind, the patient loses, having been turfed someplace against his/her will for something he/she may or may not want; I lose because he is turfing my patients to another company against their will and mine, and he gains nothing other than the satisfaction of getting SOMEONE (doesn't matter who) to do what he wants regardless of the consequences. So, dude is on some kind of f**ked up power trip and I am left holding the bag, as it were.
Well, worry not my friends, because I have a plan! Really, when do I not have a plan, but seriously, I am working on Operation Dr. ____ Smackdown!!!!! I have recently gotten word that there is some BIG TIME competition for this guy in town, so I have been gently and happily referring ALL my patients to the competition, who, I must share, is a much more, how shall I say?....APPEALING outfit. So far, I have had good responses from my peeps. They are pleased that said new firm exists and are asking for more info. Haha! This Dr. ________does not know who he is messin' with! I mean, fair's fair right? You send my peeps to MY competition to make YOU happy? Fine, but I'll do you one better and send them to YOUR competition to make THEM happy! And Voila! my patients and I win and I am back to being RT of the Year. :) Ching!
I really f**king hate doctors. Really.
Other than that, I have been packing to move house yet again. Since I left home for college, (in 19**) I have moved approximately 1, 247 times. At least it feels that way. But this go 'round, I have the luxury of time, so I am slowly packing and pitching, then taking said packed items to my new residence (that of my fantastic BF) and storing them until all my belongings are there. Very organized, me.
So, as I mentioned earlier, stay tuned. I have lots to write about and catch you all up on.....back VERY soon.....
Tangled in packing tape....................................
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Driving is for the birds.
Ok, so I had a hell of a time getting to work today. I live in the "big city" and there is nothing worse than having to drive into the general downtown area (in my case, the 'hood) at 8am. I planned to take my usual route to the office, but was thwarted, again, by insane traffic that jumped off the highway hoping to enjoy a little piece of my coveted back road zone. There is a massive reconstruction project going on here on the main freeway getting into downtown, so I have been avoiding it like the plague, and I get much satisfaction from driving the side road right alongside it and watching the traffic at a standstill. My smug, satisfied attitude however, came to its own screeching halt today when the cars were backed up to Winnipeg on my side route. Soooo, I go to Plan B, right? Well, my ass is thwarted YET AGAIN by this old bag in a late model Toyota Camry who is going 15 MPH under the speed limit through the neighborhood. I get to the main intersection and of course she turns left where I have to go so now I have another 5 blocks of moving like molasses in January. I get to the other main road and of course, she is going the same direction, but now I have 2 lanes so we're good right? NOOOOOOOO, I try to move out into the left lane in a 50 MPH zone and she drifts into that lane and goes 30! At this point I am considering some kind of demo derby action, but I refrain, as my car is leased and I have to turn it in soon. Finally get out and around only to be.....
*cut off 4 times by people who are apparently as late as I am but have complete disregard for the location of my front bumper.
*stuck behind another old bat who had an issue with brake slamming at every intersection. All of them. For 16 blocks.
*jacked up while some gal in a Jeep did her makeup and made me miss not one but two traffic lights.
*sent into heart failure while a drunk that resides near my ghetto fab place of employment stumbles out into the road so I have brake slam/swerve/swear while avoiding sending him to an earlier grave than that for which he was headed. Then he cussed me out for coming so close........
I make it to work and my co-worker parks so close to me that I am wedged in and know I will have to do a 220 point turn to get out and go get lunch. Awesome.
Hiring a freaking driver...........
*cut off 4 times by people who are apparently as late as I am but have complete disregard for the location of my front bumper.
*stuck behind another old bat who had an issue with brake slamming at every intersection. All of them. For 16 blocks.
*jacked up while some gal in a Jeep did her makeup and made me miss not one but two traffic lights.
*sent into heart failure while a drunk that resides near my ghetto fab place of employment stumbles out into the road so I have brake slam/swerve/swear while avoiding sending him to an earlier grave than that for which he was headed. Then he cussed me out for coming so close........
I make it to work and my co-worker parks so close to me that I am wedged in and know I will have to do a 220 point turn to get out and go get lunch. Awesome.
Hiring a freaking driver...........
Friday, June 26, 2009
Mornings Blow
I am not exactly what one would call a morning person, but some mornings are just downright insane. This morning was one of them and I will share it with you here.......
6:29am: Awoken by small fry prying eyelid open and saying, "Mommy, it's time to wake up." Roll over.
6:31am: Feel warm breath on face. Open eye. See small fry 2mm from face. Again, "Mommy, wake up time".
6:32: Get up. Look in mirror. Look again because I am pretty sure it's Medusa in there and not me.
6:34: Uncage small dog and take outside. Get yanked around yard.
6:42: Go to fridge for Diet Coke. For me. Juice for small fry. Get cereal for small fry. Turn on cartoons.
6:45: Get in shower. Realize I only have time for 4 minute shower and no time to shave very furry legs. Shave them anyway.
6:51: Call small fry to get in bath. Denied.
6:53: Call small fry again. Get halfhearted ok.
6:54: Wrestle unwilling child into tub.
6:55 Start makeup. Get interrupted by child. Play in water, get child clean.
7:04 Ask child to get out of tub. Denied.
7:06: Pry screaming, unwilling child from tub.
7:08 Attempt to dress child who is running through the house naked screaming, "NO I DONT WANT TO GET DRESSED" Consider taking child to school naked.
7:11: Wrestle clothes onto screaming, crying, unwilling child.
7:16: Attempt to do child's hair, prey screaming, crying, child from daybed post.
7:20: Receive text from boyfriend asking how morning is going. Laugh like lunatic and text back that I am barreling rapidly toward becoming Mommy Dearest.
7:24: Wonder if 7:25 is too early to add a shot of rum to the Diet Coke.
7:25: Wrestle ponytail into hair of screaming, crying, unwilling child who has surely woken every neighbor in the building.
7:29: Realize I have only one eye made up. Finish makeup while sweating profusely.
7:34: Run to basement to find dress Since I shaved. Trip on cat along way. Dress still in wash. Wear pants.
7:38: Feed cat. Get clawed by ungrateful cat. 3
7:40: Realize flattened hair is frizzing due to sweating from mini WWF match. Turn flat iron back on.
7:45: Wrestle lip gloss from child. Child begins hysterics anew.
7:47: Receive call from extremely mellow boyfriend with sunning ability to calm even the most insane person. Tells me it'll all be fine and to just chill. Return wire hanger to closet.
7:50: Yoga breathing.
7:52: Get dressed. Run down stairs. Trip on small dog.
7:57: Pack lunch.
8:01: Cage dog, get child's backpack, get everything to car. Start car. Realize I have forgotten child's fruit roll up. Cannot handle one more tantrum.
8:05: Sprint back into house to retrieve fruit roll up. Upset caged dog.
8:08: Finally make it out of parking lot and into insane traffic. And I am late. Again.
Putting a moratorium on mornings......
6:29am: Awoken by small fry prying eyelid open and saying, "Mommy, it's time to wake up." Roll over.
6:31am: Feel warm breath on face. Open eye. See small fry 2mm from face. Again, "Mommy, wake up time".
6:32: Get up. Look in mirror. Look again because I am pretty sure it's Medusa in there and not me.
6:34: Uncage small dog and take outside. Get yanked around yard.
6:42: Go to fridge for Diet Coke. For me. Juice for small fry. Get cereal for small fry. Turn on cartoons.
6:45: Get in shower. Realize I only have time for 4 minute shower and no time to shave very furry legs. Shave them anyway.
6:51: Call small fry to get in bath. Denied.
6:53: Call small fry again. Get halfhearted ok.
6:54: Wrestle unwilling child into tub.
6:55 Start makeup. Get interrupted by child. Play in water, get child clean.
7:04 Ask child to get out of tub. Denied.
7:06: Pry screaming, unwilling child from tub.
7:08 Attempt to dress child who is running through the house naked screaming, "NO I DONT WANT TO GET DRESSED" Consider taking child to school naked.
7:11: Wrestle clothes onto screaming, crying, unwilling child.
7:16: Attempt to do child's hair, prey screaming, crying, child from daybed post.
7:20: Receive text from boyfriend asking how morning is going. Laugh like lunatic and text back that I am barreling rapidly toward becoming Mommy Dearest.
7:24: Wonder if 7:25 is too early to add a shot of rum to the Diet Coke.
7:25: Wrestle ponytail into hair of screaming, crying, unwilling child who has surely woken every neighbor in the building.
7:29: Realize I have only one eye made up. Finish makeup while sweating profusely.
7:34: Run to basement to find dress Since I shaved. Trip on cat along way. Dress still in wash. Wear pants.
7:38: Feed cat. Get clawed by ungrateful cat. 3
7:40: Realize flattened hair is frizzing due to sweating from mini WWF match. Turn flat iron back on.
7:45: Wrestle lip gloss from child. Child begins hysterics anew.
7:47: Receive call from extremely mellow boyfriend with sunning ability to calm even the most insane person. Tells me it'll all be fine and to just chill. Return wire hanger to closet.
7:50: Yoga breathing.
7:52: Get dressed. Run down stairs. Trip on small dog.
7:57: Pack lunch.
8:01: Cage dog, get child's backpack, get everything to car. Start car. Realize I have forgotten child's fruit roll up. Cannot handle one more tantrum.
8:05: Sprint back into house to retrieve fruit roll up. Upset caged dog.
8:08: Finally make it out of parking lot and into insane traffic. And I am late. Again.
Putting a moratorium on mornings......
Monday, June 15, 2009
Light At The End Of The Tunnel
Hi All! Sorry about the long delay AGAIN, but I am hoping all will be forgiven at some point! I have been a very busy gal as usual, but the drudge of everyday life seems a bit better now that things are on the upswing.
At last check I was having a date with a lovely guy who I was hoping was digging me. Well, I am happy to say that I am confident he does and I have been having the best time ever since we met! I can only say that he is great, we have a great time together, and we will see where it goes from here. :) To all my single sisters out there, patience is in fact, a virtue. I was totally ready to give up on guys, as they all seemed to be players but I have been proven wrong. The good ones are out there.........and I, my friends, am "off the scene" as it were......
I have come to the understanding that the Terrible Twos are NOTHING compared to Threes. I had been warned, and I did not heed said warning. This, was a mistake. My beautiful angel has turned into a little whippersnapper and I am NOT at all in love with her tone. Princess Sassypants has turned to defiance as her attitude of choice with "No, I will not do that" as her favorite phrase. People wonder why mommies turn to the bottle of wine, I however, know exactly why. Exasperating.
Still dealing with the asswipes who block the local convenience driveway, make illegal lane changes on the highway and call me with stupid questions about why insurance doesn't cover anything, but in the grand scheme of things, it's improving, little by little. Hairy eyeball at the fat guy blocking the drive or not........
At last check I was having a date with a lovely guy who I was hoping was digging me. Well, I am happy to say that I am confident he does and I have been having the best time ever since we met! I can only say that he is great, we have a great time together, and we will see where it goes from here. :) To all my single sisters out there, patience is in fact, a virtue. I was totally ready to give up on guys, as they all seemed to be players but I have been proven wrong. The good ones are out there.........and I, my friends, am "off the scene" as it were......
I have come to the understanding that the Terrible Twos are NOTHING compared to Threes. I had been warned, and I did not heed said warning. This, was a mistake. My beautiful angel has turned into a little whippersnapper and I am NOT at all in love with her tone. Princess Sassypants has turned to defiance as her attitude of choice with "No, I will not do that" as her favorite phrase. People wonder why mommies turn to the bottle of wine, I however, know exactly why. Exasperating.
Still dealing with the asswipes who block the local convenience driveway, make illegal lane changes on the highway and call me with stupid questions about why insurance doesn't cover anything, but in the grand scheme of things, it's improving, little by little. Hairy eyeball at the fat guy blocking the drive or not........
Monday, May 25, 2009
Finally A Breeze
Hola:
I am writing now from the tropical climate that is my dining room. Our AC has been out for about a week, and as luck would have it, the temperature in town has been in the blazing high 80s. It has been very hot and muggy in the house and though my landlady has been diligently working on having the unit replaced (it is old apparently) it is still in negotiations and I have been sweating it. Hard. Literally. This kind of heat causes mental breakdowns of the homicidal variety in persons of all ages, as can be seen by the behaviors of both myself and my 3.5 year old. I have been snappy, screaming, and frustrated and my little gal has gone from a sweet, quiet, we-were-afraid-she-would-never-speak darling to a lippy, belligerent demon. I am quite relieved that no one came to visit us, because they would have gone running and screaming from the home within 5 minutes. Even my teeny wiener dog has turned into Cujo. At one point I believe I saw an oasis next to the TV............
Today, there is finally a breeze and the temp is in the mid 70s. We are slowly making our way back to our pleasant, fun-loving selves. The little gal is going off with Daddy here shortly and I am off for a fun-fill afternoon of I-am-not-sure-what. After numerous dates with some real winners, I had pretty much given up on men and was sure they were all losers. i had about gone off them completely when I ran into this lovely guy who seems to dig me and is interested in spending this pretty day with me! So, am feeling a bit lucky and hope it turns out to be a nice day.
Will fill you all in later! Have a great holiday day!
Cooling off...........................
I am writing now from the tropical climate that is my dining room. Our AC has been out for about a week, and as luck would have it, the temperature in town has been in the blazing high 80s. It has been very hot and muggy in the house and though my landlady has been diligently working on having the unit replaced (it is old apparently) it is still in negotiations and I have been sweating it. Hard. Literally. This kind of heat causes mental breakdowns of the homicidal variety in persons of all ages, as can be seen by the behaviors of both myself and my 3.5 year old. I have been snappy, screaming, and frustrated and my little gal has gone from a sweet, quiet, we-were-afraid-she-would-never-speak darling to a lippy, belligerent demon. I am quite relieved that no one came to visit us, because they would have gone running and screaming from the home within 5 minutes. Even my teeny wiener dog has turned into Cujo. At one point I believe I saw an oasis next to the TV............
Today, there is finally a breeze and the temp is in the mid 70s. We are slowly making our way back to our pleasant, fun-loving selves. The little gal is going off with Daddy here shortly and I am off for a fun-fill afternoon of I-am-not-sure-what. After numerous dates with some real winners, I had pretty much given up on men and was sure they were all losers. i had about gone off them completely when I ran into this lovely guy who seems to dig me and is interested in spending this pretty day with me! So, am feeling a bit lucky and hope it turns out to be a nice day.
Will fill you all in later! Have a great holiday day!
Cooling off...........................
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Well......
Hi All:
Ok so I am back in biz after a HUGE issues with laptop. Apparently, I got some virus in it called "Trojan" (had to have something to do with a guy) and it jacked my shit up pretty good. All I can say is THANKS KEITH! He is the wonderful IT individual that fixed this issue. He is the coolest and I will bake for him. Soon. When my AC is working again. :)
As many of you know, and can see on the blog I follow, I have been a big supporter of the Freeman family, and their journey with the beautiful Miss Kayleigh, who was born prematurely last June at one teeny pound. Kayleigh was given her official angel wings last week when she passed away at age 11 months. The outpouring of love and support for this family has been amazing, and I ask that you continue to send prayers for the Freemans. They are a wonderful family and they have come through all this with strength I can truly admire. Computer issue or not, I have been too heartbroken to write about this until now, and hope that you will keep the Freemans in your hearts.
God Bless Kayleigh, her parents, her siblings and all of you........
Ok so I am back in biz after a HUGE issues with laptop. Apparently, I got some virus in it called "Trojan" (had to have something to do with a guy) and it jacked my shit up pretty good. All I can say is THANKS KEITH! He is the wonderful IT individual that fixed this issue. He is the coolest and I will bake for him. Soon. When my AC is working again. :)
As many of you know, and can see on the blog I follow, I have been a big supporter of the Freeman family, and their journey with the beautiful Miss Kayleigh, who was born prematurely last June at one teeny pound. Kayleigh was given her official angel wings last week when she passed away at age 11 months. The outpouring of love and support for this family has been amazing, and I ask that you continue to send prayers for the Freemans. They are a wonderful family and they have come through all this with strength I can truly admire. Computer issue or not, I have been too heartbroken to write about this until now, and hope that you will keep the Freemans in your hearts.
God Bless Kayleigh, her parents, her siblings and all of you........
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Asking For Your Prayers
Hello All:
It is with a heavy heart that I ask you to please pray for the Freeman Family. Their precious daughter, Kayleigh, passed away on Monday. Many of you have seen their blog via the link I have here, and I have been following Kayleigh's story for many months now. I am so very sorry for their loss and hope that God will give them strength to get through this difficult time.
It is with a heavy heart that I ask you to please pray for the Freeman Family. Their precious daughter, Kayleigh, passed away on Monday. Many of you have seen their blog via the link I have here, and I have been following Kayleigh's story for many months now. I am so very sorry for their loss and hope that God will give them strength to get through this difficult time.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Have Had It
Ok, so I know I haven't been around lately but sometimes s**t gets to be a bit much and all that, you know? It has been an interesting few weeks, that is for sure.......
I had like, 3 or 4 weekends STRAIGHT with the excruciating back issue. Just totally pisses me off because I can't get JACK done and I get all wigged out when things around my house start getting out of control and all that. Then I am again with the risk of a CPS investigation for child labor, since I can't move and have to ask the 3.5 year old to help mama. And of course, after the issues resolves itself, I ask her to do something and she tells me her back hurts. Nice, smarty britches, really nice......
I have to tell you all that dating after the age of say, 35, is for the G-D DAMN BIRDS! I cannot figure out why men are assholes, but they are. I meet a guy and one of 2 things happens, they end up being total freaks or they waste about 2 days of my time chatting me up and then disappear. WTF? Allow me to share an example of each so that I may give you a clear insight into the hell that is my dating life right now......
Idiot Numero 1:
Chat with dude who has been talked up by friend of a friend and he seems great. Nice, good job, house in good neighborhood, etc. Talk on phone for 3 days and make breakfast date (only to accommodate scheduling issues). Arrive at date at appointed time, place, etc. Dude pulls up in this POS car that is supposedly used regularly for like rally races/demo derby. Has no muffler. Am told his other car is a mini van and he thought this was better! (Puh-freaking-leeze) Anyhoo, was told this boy was 5"11, average body type. He gets out of car and I can assure all of you out there that the person who gave said description is either blind or on crack or both because this MFer was 5'7 on a GOOD day, and there was a.....wait for it.....BEACH BALL under his flipping polo shirt. He looked more pregnant than my pal who had twins several years ago. UGH. So, obviously, since I was raised nicely and can't just flee, I remind myself that he mentioned something about owning a bicycle and figure I can talk him into using it later. So we go in and order, etc and I now find out that he LOVES to hear himself talk. I think it is his favorite activity. Now, I love to talk myself (duh) but this was ridiculous. To get to the best part of this story, we leave breakfast, I say thanks, think I need a nap from the boredom and go. Call up mom and gal pal as soon as I walk in for updating purposes. Gal Pal proposes we meet at pub after lunch for full story. Go to pub around 1p. I left breakfast at 10:30a and at 2p, text goes off indicating a picture message. Now, this guy has a job in a lab and the pic was of him in a lab coat and big, blue CHEMICAL RUBBER GLOVES, and the caption says....I swear...."Wanna Play Doctor" WTF? I must have made a strange noise because my Pal looks and says "WHAT? WHAT IS IT?" I show her the phone and all she can say is "OMFG". I can hardly blame her for being rendered speechless, because I was too! I mean, come on! Who asks you that 4 freaking hours after they meet you? Gross. So, of course, no matter how nicely I was raised, I text back "Creepy" and never return any communication from there on out. He finally got the picture after a week. Asswipe.
Idiot Numero 2:
Behind door number 2 we have a different asshole that also came highly recommended from friend of a friend. I took the time to ask yet another acquaintance if this guy was a tool or not and was told "No! Great Guy!" Hooray for me! Again, we chat online, text, etc. He blows up my frigging phone for a week, starting at 8am and going until 10pm. We make plans to meet. He has to cancel due to emergency. We make new plan to meet, he has to cancel again. Sends me message saying "Let's do something Wednesday (this is on a Monday 3 weeks ago) I say "Sure." That was the last time I heard from him. Asshole.
What in the world is it with guys? I mean, it is not ok to be creepy, icky, nasty, gross with a chick 22 seconds after you meet her, and it is also not ok to totally blow someone off after 2 weeks of constant chatter. If you are some freaky sex fiend, there are places where you can pay to "play doctor". And if you met someone else or got back with your ex or simply don't like me after all, just F**KING SAY SO! Damn! So, I think I am just going to chill on the dudes for awhile. Because they are a waste of my precious girl time with my daughter and my pals. F guys.
Considering chicks or the nunnery,
R
I had like, 3 or 4 weekends STRAIGHT with the excruciating back issue. Just totally pisses me off because I can't get JACK done and I get all wigged out when things around my house start getting out of control and all that. Then I am again with the risk of a CPS investigation for child labor, since I can't move and have to ask the 3.5 year old to help mama. And of course, after the issues resolves itself, I ask her to do something and she tells me her back hurts. Nice, smarty britches, really nice......
I have to tell you all that dating after the age of say, 35, is for the G-D DAMN BIRDS! I cannot figure out why men are assholes, but they are. I meet a guy and one of 2 things happens, they end up being total freaks or they waste about 2 days of my time chatting me up and then disappear. WTF? Allow me to share an example of each so that I may give you a clear insight into the hell that is my dating life right now......
Idiot Numero 1:
Chat with dude who has been talked up by friend of a friend and he seems great. Nice, good job, house in good neighborhood, etc. Talk on phone for 3 days and make breakfast date (only to accommodate scheduling issues). Arrive at date at appointed time, place, etc. Dude pulls up in this POS car that is supposedly used regularly for like rally races/demo derby. Has no muffler. Am told his other car is a mini van and he thought this was better! (Puh-freaking-leeze) Anyhoo, was told this boy was 5"11, average body type. He gets out of car and I can assure all of you out there that the person who gave said description is either blind or on crack or both because this MFer was 5'7 on a GOOD day, and there was a.....wait for it.....BEACH BALL under his flipping polo shirt. He looked more pregnant than my pal who had twins several years ago. UGH. So, obviously, since I was raised nicely and can't just flee, I remind myself that he mentioned something about owning a bicycle and figure I can talk him into using it later. So we go in and order, etc and I now find out that he LOVES to hear himself talk. I think it is his favorite activity. Now, I love to talk myself (duh) but this was ridiculous. To get to the best part of this story, we leave breakfast, I say thanks, think I need a nap from the boredom and go. Call up mom and gal pal as soon as I walk in for updating purposes. Gal Pal proposes we meet at pub after lunch for full story. Go to pub around 1p. I left breakfast at 10:30a and at 2p, text goes off indicating a picture message. Now, this guy has a job in a lab and the pic was of him in a lab coat and big, blue CHEMICAL RUBBER GLOVES, and the caption says....I swear...."Wanna Play Doctor" WTF? I must have made a strange noise because my Pal looks and says "WHAT? WHAT IS IT?" I show her the phone and all she can say is "OMFG". I can hardly blame her for being rendered speechless, because I was too! I mean, come on! Who asks you that 4 freaking hours after they meet you? Gross. So, of course, no matter how nicely I was raised, I text back "Creepy" and never return any communication from there on out. He finally got the picture after a week. Asswipe.
Idiot Numero 2:
Behind door number 2 we have a different asshole that also came highly recommended from friend of a friend. I took the time to ask yet another acquaintance if this guy was a tool or not and was told "No! Great Guy!" Hooray for me! Again, we chat online, text, etc. He blows up my frigging phone for a week, starting at 8am and going until 10pm. We make plans to meet. He has to cancel due to emergency. We make new plan to meet, he has to cancel again. Sends me message saying "Let's do something Wednesday (this is on a Monday 3 weeks ago) I say "Sure." That was the last time I heard from him. Asshole.
What in the world is it with guys? I mean, it is not ok to be creepy, icky, nasty, gross with a chick 22 seconds after you meet her, and it is also not ok to totally blow someone off after 2 weeks of constant chatter. If you are some freaky sex fiend, there are places where you can pay to "play doctor". And if you met someone else or got back with your ex or simply don't like me after all, just F**KING SAY SO! Damn! So, I think I am just going to chill on the dudes for awhile. Because they are a waste of my precious girl time with my daughter and my pals. F guys.
Considering chicks or the nunnery,
R
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
An Evening In The Life
Just a quick look at one evening in the life of a single Mommy to a 3 1/2 year old and pets.......
5pm: Leave full-time job. Sit in insane traffic on freeway. Consider road rage.
5:25pm: Stop at store for milk I forgot at store yesterday. Buy 5 things. Forget milk.
5:35pm: Retrieve daughter from preschool. Check that we have blankie, stuffed dog, stuffed gorilla, and any recent art projects. Check daughter has been angel all day as expected.
6pm: Arrive home. Walk caged, hyperactive dog. Give dog chew bone to control extra energy not expended on walk.
6:10pm: Eat Cheetos at counter while making youngster "real" dinner. Answer phone. Make additional phone call.
6:25pm: Change laundry while youngster finishes eating. Argue about cookie count for dessert. Bend a bit on cookie count to circumvent pending meltdown.
6:45pm: Ask youngster where she put Popsicle stick from homemade Popsicle maker yesterday. Am told in the trash. Trash went out yesterday. No more stick. Can only make 3 Popsicles in maker instead of 4. Do not care.
7pm: Watch same Hannah Montana movie for the 9 millionth time. Must sing and dance. Field phone call while singing.
7:30pm: Flip on "Regular Hannah". Rewind opening song on DVR 3 times.
7:55pm: Attempt bedtime.....Denied.
8:05pm: Bedtime attempt #2......Denied.
8:10pm: Bedtime attempt #3....put foot down.
8:15pm: Brush teeth, get Band Aid, try to find requested Hannah nightgown. Cannot find. Much crying. Dig Hannah nightgown from laundry basket.
8:25pm: Read story x 3. Say goodnight 22 times.
8:35pm: Flee to kitchen. Crack beer. Return calls while folding laundry.
9:00pm: Feed starving cats I forgot to feed earlier. Give dog another chew bone to keep him off my back.
9:15pm: Put more laundry in. Trip over cat on way upstairs. Trip over dollhouse toys once upstairs. Clean up dollhouse toys.
9:30pm: Attempt to check computer. Field phone calls.
10:00pm: Switch laundry. Trip over cat.
10:30pm: Pack bag for next day, check schedule. Attempt TV program. Talk on phone instead.
11:00pm: Friend with crisis. Talk on phone.
11:30pm: Run laundry through dryer again to get out wrinkles. Forget about laundry.
12:00am: Get in bed to watch Law and Order. Fall asleep right after opening action. Miss entire program.
And you haven't even seen the Daytime parts yet.........
5pm: Leave full-time job. Sit in insane traffic on freeway. Consider road rage.
5:25pm: Stop at store for milk I forgot at store yesterday. Buy 5 things. Forget milk.
5:35pm: Retrieve daughter from preschool. Check that we have blankie, stuffed dog, stuffed gorilla, and any recent art projects. Check daughter has been angel all day as expected.
6pm: Arrive home. Walk caged, hyperactive dog. Give dog chew bone to control extra energy not expended on walk.
6:10pm: Eat Cheetos at counter while making youngster "real" dinner. Answer phone. Make additional phone call.
6:25pm: Change laundry while youngster finishes eating. Argue about cookie count for dessert. Bend a bit on cookie count to circumvent pending meltdown.
6:45pm: Ask youngster where she put Popsicle stick from homemade Popsicle maker yesterday. Am told in the trash. Trash went out yesterday. No more stick. Can only make 3 Popsicles in maker instead of 4. Do not care.
7pm: Watch same Hannah Montana movie for the 9 millionth time. Must sing and dance. Field phone call while singing.
7:30pm: Flip on "Regular Hannah". Rewind opening song on DVR 3 times.
7:55pm: Attempt bedtime.....Denied.
8:05pm: Bedtime attempt #2......Denied.
8:10pm: Bedtime attempt #3....put foot down.
8:15pm: Brush teeth, get Band Aid, try to find requested Hannah nightgown. Cannot find. Much crying. Dig Hannah nightgown from laundry basket.
8:25pm: Read story x 3. Say goodnight 22 times.
8:35pm: Flee to kitchen. Crack beer. Return calls while folding laundry.
9:00pm: Feed starving cats I forgot to feed earlier. Give dog another chew bone to keep him off my back.
9:15pm: Put more laundry in. Trip over cat on way upstairs. Trip over dollhouse toys once upstairs. Clean up dollhouse toys.
9:30pm: Attempt to check computer. Field phone calls.
10:00pm: Switch laundry. Trip over cat.
10:30pm: Pack bag for next day, check schedule. Attempt TV program. Talk on phone instead.
11:00pm: Friend with crisis. Talk on phone.
11:30pm: Run laundry through dryer again to get out wrinkles. Forget about laundry.
12:00am: Get in bed to watch Law and Order. Fall asleep right after opening action. Miss entire program.
And you haven't even seen the Daytime parts yet.........
Friday, April 3, 2009
Haircuts Are Nice
I went and got all my hair chopped off today. I am talking a good 3 1/2 inches worth. Sweetness. This remedies last year's horrendous color f**kup that had me looking like Annie for 24 hours before I could get to the salon. Had to wear hat, sunglasses and big puffy coat just to zip to the beer store, in case I ran into someone. Anyhoo, I have gone to this gal, her name is Teeny, (yes, Teeny and she is too. Very cute) many times and I have never had a bad haircut by her EVER. Here's the thing. I dive into full panic mode every time I get a haircut. And since I have a moderate case of panic disorder as it is, one more place where I have an attack is a bit much for me to handle. I have no idea why this happens, it's like I don't trust her even though I so totally do! WTF? But it happens about halfway through the drying process, and my brain is going "It's not looking right, it's sucking, it's not straight enough" yadda yadda. And then, as usual, she finishes and it looks marvelous and I have no clue why I was sweating it for the last half hour. There has to be a solution to this but I haven't discovered it yet. If anyone has any ideas, please pass them along. Anything to keep from feeling like I just had a hot bath when leaving the salon.
Stylin'..........
Stylin'..........
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
OMFG!
Went to corner petrol station again today, (this time for Bud Select, not actual petrol. Everyone needs a break) and I SWEAR AS SURE AS TODAY IS WEDNESDAY some asswipe blocked the f**king drive AGAIN! What is wrong with people????!!!! I told you they do it every day! And I was not lying! Seriously? To make it even better, I have freaking PONYTAILS in, and I am honking and swearing at aforementioned asswipe as I usually do, and I look like I'm 12. Awesome. I need to get a concealed carry permit. I'm done. I mean, I work in the ghetto, so it is a good idea to have anyway, but now for sure. Idiots. I am turning into a serious hater. Nice.
Bite me, Gandhi, I am on a roll here.....
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Bogus Crap That Happened
Ok, so I have been away much, much too long, but it is strictly because I have MAJOR issues. There is not a day that goes by that some kind of bullshit doesn't crop up, but it has been a bit much lately. Had Ginormous back injury that put me out of commission off and on for about two weeks' time. During this period of insane agony, I was forced into sitting almost completely still in my dining room chair, praying that I did not need to sneeze, and sweating getting arrested for violating child labor laws, as I had to have the little gal do just about everything for me. Awesome. SO, as that is partially resolved, I have traded it for spring allergies, contacts that I cannot see out of (after 4th visit to eye doctor) and a desperate need to see the dentist (whom I fear with indescribable intensity). Enough bitching now, I just had to fill you all in on why I did that mini disappearing act. So, I'm back. Jen: are you happy now? :)
My question of the day is this, then I am off to a tea party before Hannah Montana comes on......
Why are people idiots? Seriously, everyone out there must see this shit all the time! I know a TON of people that are not idiots, but I seem to encounter the idiots somehow, each and every day, no matter how I surround myself with the non-idiots. Here are a couple of examples of the shit I run into regularly:
1) Am at gas station. Would like to exit gas station and pull into road. Person waiting for red light to change pulls up in front of gas station driveway, making it impossible to make my escape and go home. Now I am required to sit, give evil stare to dumbass blocking the drive, give finger, honk horn, etc. Makes me insane because it happens just about every damn time I am there.
2) Get phone call at work. Person on other end asks, "Do you have XYZ product?" I respond "Yes, we have XYZ. It is this many $$$" Person responds, "So you have XYZ in stock?" I respond "Yes, right here, in the store. Available." Person: "Ok, well I may want to come and purchase XYZ, however, I am not sure I can get there today, but maybe tomorrow or Sunday" Me: "We are not open on Sunday" Person" Oh, you aren't? Why?" Me: "Because the owner decided 36 years ago that we would not be open on Sunday." Person: "Oh, well Kroger is open on Sunday. " Me: "Yes, they are, and we are not Kroger and you can't get XYZ at Kroger so you will have to come in during OUR BUSINESS HOURS!" Jesus.
3) Get on highway. Speed limit is 65. 3 available lanes. Get in far left lane as I am late as usual and need to move. Foreign woman in far left lane going 45. For real. 45. Traffic in both right lanes going 70mph. I have nothing against persons of other country origin, I mean, my daughter is foreign born, but really? If you have not mastered driving in the big city, perhaps don't. Because I am NOT READY TO DIE getting creamed by other drivers creeping up on me in left lane when I can't move over and I am stuck going 40mph. And there is no amount of light blinking and honking that will get these people to move over! UGH! I can't deal. Please. There had to be some kind of instruction upon obtaining license in US? Right? Maybe not. Who the hell knows but I can't take it.
Those are just a few examples. Will have more later for sure.
Digging for Aleve.............................
My question of the day is this, then I am off to a tea party before Hannah Montana comes on......
Why are people idiots? Seriously, everyone out there must see this shit all the time! I know a TON of people that are not idiots, but I seem to encounter the idiots somehow, each and every day, no matter how I surround myself with the non-idiots. Here are a couple of examples of the shit I run into regularly:
1) Am at gas station. Would like to exit gas station and pull into road. Person waiting for red light to change pulls up in front of gas station driveway, making it impossible to make my escape and go home. Now I am required to sit, give evil stare to dumbass blocking the drive, give finger, honk horn, etc. Makes me insane because it happens just about every damn time I am there.
2) Get phone call at work. Person on other end asks, "Do you have XYZ product?" I respond "Yes, we have XYZ. It is this many $$$" Person responds, "So you have XYZ in stock?" I respond "Yes, right here, in the store. Available." Person: "Ok, well I may want to come and purchase XYZ, however, I am not sure I can get there today, but maybe tomorrow or Sunday" Me: "We are not open on Sunday" Person" Oh, you aren't? Why?" Me: "Because the owner decided 36 years ago that we would not be open on Sunday." Person: "Oh, well Kroger is open on Sunday. " Me: "Yes, they are, and we are not Kroger and you can't get XYZ at Kroger so you will have to come in during OUR BUSINESS HOURS!" Jesus.
3) Get on highway. Speed limit is 65. 3 available lanes. Get in far left lane as I am late as usual and need to move. Foreign woman in far left lane going 45. For real. 45. Traffic in both right lanes going 70mph. I have nothing against persons of other country origin, I mean, my daughter is foreign born, but really? If you have not mastered driving in the big city, perhaps don't. Because I am NOT READY TO DIE getting creamed by other drivers creeping up on me in left lane when I can't move over and I am stuck going 40mph. And there is no amount of light blinking and honking that will get these people to move over! UGH! I can't deal. Please. There had to be some kind of instruction upon obtaining license in US? Right? Maybe not. Who the hell knows but I can't take it.
Those are just a few examples. Will have more later for sure.
Digging for Aleve.............................
Monday, February 9, 2009
Super Star Award
Had a phone call from the Daddy of Little Boo Boo today, alerting me to the fact that she was awarded Super Star status today at school, and was subsequently presented with a cardboard plaque describing the achievement. I was beside myself with pride, considering that her behavior at school has been less than exemplary lately. I had been a bit worried that the multiple bad reports were giving her a bad rep, and we all know how that goes. Won't be long before I am getting a call from the Columbus Five-Oh letting me know my little angel has been picked up for truancy, weed smoking, or something else equally distasteful. What would the neighbors think? So I commended her on her fabulous award and she dropped the phone on my ear to go watch Hannah Montana. At least she said "Thank you Mommy" before she took off. Sigh.....
I was thinking then that it would sure be nice if they had some kind of Mommy Star award. I mean, seriously, I am fully aware that Mommies are supposed to be selfless, but it would be kind of sweet now and then to know we are the Super Stars we aspire to be each day. Even when we have just said, "No more cookies." and gotten the hairy eyeball in return. If we did occasionally get the Super Star Mommy Award, then we could pull it out and remember that it's all good when we are getting said hairy eyeball, or whatever. And I personally think we all need this from time to time.
Now, since I don't know who "they" are that would be passing out such an award, and because I know it would never be the children themselves, husbands, or boyfriends, then we will have to start a coalition of our own, I suppose. Sort of like an Academy for Super Star Mommies. I am guessing it would have to be run by other mommies, or nothing would ever get accomplished, since we are the only ones who can multi-task in this manner. So, my co-mommies of the world, let's think of starting up this coalition, banding together in the fight for equal Super Star status on the planet, and come up with a plan for distributing these much needed awards. Morale can be low in Mommy Land, and with the crappy news stories and s**t economy, we don't need anything else bringing us down. Let me know if you would like to join the cause. And if you know a deserving Mommy, swipe some of your little one's construction paper and a marker, maybe a sticker or two, and make your favorite Mommy a Super Star award! She'll appreciate it. And don't forget to put a gold star on the chart for the Little Super Star, or you could get that eyeball again......
Going for the markers and paper, and taking a stand..........
I was thinking then that it would sure be nice if they had some kind of Mommy Star award. I mean, seriously, I am fully aware that Mommies are supposed to be selfless, but it would be kind of sweet now and then to know we are the Super Stars we aspire to be each day. Even when we have just said, "No more cookies." and gotten the hairy eyeball in return. If we did occasionally get the Super Star Mommy Award, then we could pull it out and remember that it's all good when we are getting said hairy eyeball, or whatever. And I personally think we all need this from time to time.
Now, since I don't know who "they" are that would be passing out such an award, and because I know it would never be the children themselves, husbands, or boyfriends, then we will have to start a coalition of our own, I suppose. Sort of like an Academy for Super Star Mommies. I am guessing it would have to be run by other mommies, or nothing would ever get accomplished, since we are the only ones who can multi-task in this manner. So, my co-mommies of the world, let's think of starting up this coalition, banding together in the fight for equal Super Star status on the planet, and come up with a plan for distributing these much needed awards. Morale can be low in Mommy Land, and with the crappy news stories and s**t economy, we don't need anything else bringing us down. Let me know if you would like to join the cause. And if you know a deserving Mommy, swipe some of your little one's construction paper and a marker, maybe a sticker or two, and make your favorite Mommy a Super Star award! She'll appreciate it. And don't forget to put a gold star on the chart for the Little Super Star, or you could get that eyeball again......
Going for the markers and paper, and taking a stand..........
Monday, February 2, 2009
Ridiculous Stuff-ListMania #2
I took little Boo to the Center of Science and Industry Sunday to see the frog exhibit. Very nice until she weed in her pants twice and we had to abort the mission. I think I am going to abort all missions for a bit until she gets the wee thing under control. Boring, but necessary. I am pretty confident that the friends we went with will never invite us to do anything again after this little fiasco. At least until Boo is 15 or something. Christ.
SOOOO... I observed some ridiculous things over the weekend and as I paid closer attention to my surroundings, I found a few more. I shall share them with you here and please, as always, feel free to add to the list!
1. The over use of acronyms in modern English. Example: "I went to COSI this weekend and saw all kinds off cool exhibits put on by NASA, the AMA, NOAA, and the WWF. Then I went to Wal Mart to get some stuff and saw it was approved by the FDA, which was great, and there was construction going on but all the workers were following OSHA guidelines, so I wasn't worried." Seriously. I am just as lazy as the next person, but some if this crap has to stop. Especially the organizations that use this method to spell stuff out. You all know who you are, but half the time I don't, so please, just tell me.
2. People who go to places like COSI and put their child on that little thing that looks like a teddy bear backpack with a string but is in actuality, a leash. I would be hard pressed not to yank on that thing as if my wiener dog were attached to the other end and he was sniffing icky trash. Why have one of those? Why not get a collar to match? That'd be cute! If you think your child will wander off because your attention span is short and you are that lazy, perhaps parenting is not for you. Otherwise, get a stroller or have you child hold your hand like normal parents. Come on.
3. People who put the model of their automobile on their license plate. This is just a waste as far as I am concerned. I was behind a Mitsubishi Montero yesterday and the licence plate said just that, Montero. Wow. I have personalized plates, but they have my nickname on them. And my nickname is different, as in, NOT OBVIOUS! The fine people at Nissan have conveniently put the model name of my car on the back of it, in case I forget, so it isn't necessary for me to pay the state extra moola to have MURANO posted on it. It saddens me that they don't encourage more creativity in this country. Sheesh.
4. While we are discussing cars, I also think those black and white stickers that have the letters of some place you have been on holiday on them are stupid too. You know, the ones that resemble the stickers on European automobiles, that are there for a REASON! They are used to identify cars when they cross from one country into the next, not to let people know where their favorite resort is. Criminey. I personally don't care if you have been to Put-In-Bay, and I love the place. Spend your money on another drink there and leave the goofy-ass stickers behind. If I want to know where you have been on vay-cay, I'll ask ya. And if you tell me with your car to vote for McCain, your kid is an honor student, or that you are cooler than me, well, you may get the finger. But you put yourself out there so don't be hacked off. And frankly, I would be embarrassed if my car had a loser's name slapped on the back. So unless you know for sure your candidate will win, I would vote AGAINST the political bumper sticker.
5. And last but not least.....people who beat their children in public places. Let me start out by saying that I am in no way against the occasional spank, especially if the child has put him or herself in harm's way. However, when the kid is yelling in the ice cream aisle at Wal Mart because mama said "No" to the gallon of chocolate swirl, and then proceeds to beat them into silent submission, she probably should not be allowed to procreate. They entered the "Yummy Treat Zone" with the child, and then are somehow surprised when the little angel cries over the ice cream denial. I see it almost every week at my local supermarkets. That mom or dad clearly didn't read the memo on "How Not To Look Like Trash When Shopping At WalMart Or Anywhere Else." If you have to do a spank for whatever reason, go to the loo, the car, or abort the mission and go home. So much easier than 25 other customers reaching for their cell phones to call CPS on you. Sheesh.
There's my rant. Rant back.
Breathing deeply......
SOOOO... I observed some ridiculous things over the weekend and as I paid closer attention to my surroundings, I found a few more. I shall share them with you here and please, as always, feel free to add to the list!
1. The over use of acronyms in modern English. Example: "I went to COSI this weekend and saw all kinds off cool exhibits put on by NASA, the AMA, NOAA, and the WWF. Then I went to Wal Mart to get some stuff and saw it was approved by the FDA, which was great, and there was construction going on but all the workers were following OSHA guidelines, so I wasn't worried." Seriously. I am just as lazy as the next person, but some if this crap has to stop. Especially the organizations that use this method to spell stuff out. You all know who you are, but half the time I don't, so please, just tell me.
2. People who go to places like COSI and put their child on that little thing that looks like a teddy bear backpack with a string but is in actuality, a leash. I would be hard pressed not to yank on that thing as if my wiener dog were attached to the other end and he was sniffing icky trash. Why have one of those? Why not get a collar to match? That'd be cute! If you think your child will wander off because your attention span is short and you are that lazy, perhaps parenting is not for you. Otherwise, get a stroller or have you child hold your hand like normal parents. Come on.
3. People who put the model of their automobile on their license plate. This is just a waste as far as I am concerned. I was behind a Mitsubishi Montero yesterday and the licence plate said just that, Montero. Wow. I have personalized plates, but they have my nickname on them. And my nickname is different, as in, NOT OBVIOUS! The fine people at Nissan have conveniently put the model name of my car on the back of it, in case I forget, so it isn't necessary for me to pay the state extra moola to have MURANO posted on it. It saddens me that they don't encourage more creativity in this country. Sheesh.
4. While we are discussing cars, I also think those black and white stickers that have the letters of some place you have been on holiday on them are stupid too. You know, the ones that resemble the stickers on European automobiles, that are there for a REASON! They are used to identify cars when they cross from one country into the next, not to let people know where their favorite resort is. Criminey. I personally don't care if you have been to Put-In-Bay, and I love the place. Spend your money on another drink there and leave the goofy-ass stickers behind. If I want to know where you have been on vay-cay, I'll ask ya. And if you tell me with your car to vote for McCain, your kid is an honor student, or that you are cooler than me, well, you may get the finger. But you put yourself out there so don't be hacked off. And frankly, I would be embarrassed if my car had a loser's name slapped on the back. So unless you know for sure your candidate will win, I would vote AGAINST the political bumper sticker.
5. And last but not least.....people who beat their children in public places. Let me start out by saying that I am in no way against the occasional spank, especially if the child has put him or herself in harm's way. However, when the kid is yelling in the ice cream aisle at Wal Mart because mama said "No" to the gallon of chocolate swirl, and then proceeds to beat them into silent submission, she probably should not be allowed to procreate. They entered the "Yummy Treat Zone" with the child, and then are somehow surprised when the little angel cries over the ice cream denial. I see it almost every week at my local supermarkets. That mom or dad clearly didn't read the memo on "How Not To Look Like Trash When Shopping At WalMart Or Anywhere Else." If you have to do a spank for whatever reason, go to the loo, the car, or abort the mission and go home. So much easier than 25 other customers reaching for their cell phones to call CPS on you. Sheesh.
There's my rant. Rant back.
Breathing deeply......
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Things That Suck...ListMania #1
I have compiled a list of 10 (all I could think of at the moment. I reserve the right to add at any time) things that suck when you are the mommy of a young child. Please, feel free to comment and add your own sucky things and if you are the lucky Mum of older children, please comment and let me know what I have to look forward to. God Bless us all.
P.S. I hate F*&*ING SNOW! Just in case I have never shared that with you....
Things That Suck (In no particular order)
1. Dirty public toilets.
2. Coffee table edges.
3. Unidentified sticky stuff in hair.
4. Packs of Q-Tips left in reach of child.
5. Contact lenses left in reach of child that are now MIA.
6. Maple syrup.
7. Juice. Especially the kind with color.
8. The "siren" cry. You have all heard this, don't pretend you haven't.
9. Grocery carts with the "car" attached to the front.
10. Play Doh.
Cleaning, searching and finding higher shelves........
P.S. I hate F*&*ING SNOW! Just in case I have never shared that with you....
Things That Suck (In no particular order)
1. Dirty public toilets.
2. Coffee table edges.
3. Unidentified sticky stuff in hair.
4. Packs of Q-Tips left in reach of child.
5. Contact lenses left in reach of child that are now MIA.
6. Maple syrup.
7. Juice. Especially the kind with color.
8. The "siren" cry. You have all heard this, don't pretend you haven't.
9. Grocery carts with the "car" attached to the front.
10. Play Doh.
Cleaning, searching and finding higher shelves........
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Etiquette en el Restaurante Favorito
I took Boo to the Mexican place tonight. She probably asks if we can go to El Vaquero (or "Queros" if you ask her) at least 5 times a week. I haven't taken her in like, 3 weeks, so I figured we should go.....especially since she will be with Daddy all weekend and I like the Mommy/Daughter dinner thing alot.
Taking a 3 year old to a restaurant is hard enough, but when there is only one adult accompanying said preschooler, it is a mighty fine trick my friends. There are certain things that occur at any dinner with a young child that must be considered before you embark on this little journey...
1. The child will need activities, several activities, to keep him or her occupied until something messy arrives. This requires a completely separate bag, larger than the gigundo mom handbag you are currently carrying.
2. The child will have to go to the bathroom no less than 2 times while you are there. This endeavor requires you to lug all the gear to the loo. (unless you live in Mayberry and can leave all your personal belongings at the table, thanks Aunt Bea!)
3. The sweetheart will want whatever is on YOUR plate, not their own, even though you have discussed what they will eat 22 times during the 1.2 mile trip to the restaurant. And again when you order. You may as well order what you want for the little one and something else for yourself.
In addition to all of the aforementioned issues arising during this evening's excursion, she also put on a dance performance for the neighboring tables, had a nice chat with the couple next to us, used her fork to "cut" a tortilla chip (the amount of crumbs that resulted was astronomical) and did her best to lick all the salt off my (much needed) margarita glass.
I am posting this through one eye and with two fingers because the rest of me is too tired. Even my hair is tired.
TIP: Plan ahead, pack a Samsonite, and have a LOOOONG nap at your desk before you take the little ones to dinner on a work night.....alone.
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............
Taking a 3 year old to a restaurant is hard enough, but when there is only one adult accompanying said preschooler, it is a mighty fine trick my friends. There are certain things that occur at any dinner with a young child that must be considered before you embark on this little journey...
1. The child will need activities, several activities, to keep him or her occupied until something messy arrives. This requires a completely separate bag, larger than the gigundo mom handbag you are currently carrying.
2. The child will have to go to the bathroom no less than 2 times while you are there. This endeavor requires you to lug all the gear to the loo. (unless you live in Mayberry and can leave all your personal belongings at the table, thanks Aunt Bea!)
3. The sweetheart will want whatever is on YOUR plate, not their own, even though you have discussed what they will eat 22 times during the 1.2 mile trip to the restaurant. And again when you order. You may as well order what you want for the little one and something else for yourself.
In addition to all of the aforementioned issues arising during this evening's excursion, she also put on a dance performance for the neighboring tables, had a nice chat with the couple next to us, used her fork to "cut" a tortilla chip (the amount of crumbs that resulted was astronomical) and did her best to lick all the salt off my (much needed) margarita glass.
I am posting this through one eye and with two fingers because the rest of me is too tired. Even my hair is tired.
TIP: Plan ahead, pack a Samsonite, and have a LOOOONG nap at your desk before you take the little ones to dinner on a work night.....alone.
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Taxes Schmaxes
I made a valiant attempt at doing my taxes this evening. I did the Turbo Tax thing today and I have to say that it is really wonderful, IF you have all the stuff you need.
For instance.....I took some college classes last year and I was supposed to get some 498-T-1037-IRS-BS form. WTF? I have no clue what they are talking about! So I call a pal that works at the college and she says "Sure you can get that online! I'll send you the link in an e-mail." Super! Would have been nice if I know this before I started, but whatev. So now I have more IRS BS to contend with and I am not at all going to let it suck the life out of me like I am sure the good folks at H&R Block would if they had the opportunity. I went through the whole thing with an "estimate" just to get an idea of what type of refund I would get, right? Well, I was insulted. How do you get to claim all this s**t on your taxes and get ABSOLUTE CRAP back? I must have done something wrong. So I guess I'll go find all the 1089-09853-**F$%$$#ing forms and start over.
I know the IR-flipping-S does this on purpose. Wankers.
But, I am not going to flip out. I am going to take a deep Zen-like breath and begin anew.....
Just as soon as I get the top secret 1098462-888-666-T5 F%$#ing form.
Tip: Get all the top secret forms you need ahead of your easy-peasy Turbo Tax session, if the government will let you.
Going A-filing.....
For instance.....I took some college classes last year and I was supposed to get some 498-T-1037-IRS-BS form. WTF? I have no clue what they are talking about! So I call a pal that works at the college and she says "Sure you can get that online! I'll send you the link in an e-mail." Super! Would have been nice if I know this before I started, but whatev. So now I have more IRS BS to contend with and I am not at all going to let it suck the life out of me like I am sure the good folks at H&R Block would if they had the opportunity. I went through the whole thing with an "estimate" just to get an idea of what type of refund I would get, right? Well, I was insulted. How do you get to claim all this s**t on your taxes and get ABSOLUTE CRAP back? I must have done something wrong. So I guess I'll go find all the 1089-09853-**F$%$$#ing forms and start over.
I know the IR-flipping-S does this on purpose. Wankers.
But, I am not going to flip out. I am going to take a deep Zen-like breath and begin anew.....
Just as soon as I get the top secret 1098462-888-666-T5 F%$#ing form.
Tip: Get all the top secret forms you need ahead of your easy-peasy Turbo Tax session, if the government will let you.
Going A-filing.....
Monday, January 19, 2009
Gettin' Back To Good
So, I was still seething over the Death Stare, which is pretty stupid in and of itself. And, it is totally out of whack with my 2009 Zen Goddess persona that I am attempting to attain, so I am "letting go" of the anger, and moving on....Bye Bye McSnorker.
I was, and this will sound mean and selfish but it's true, so glad to head off to the library/Barnes and Noble today after an extemely boring day at work and have ZERO interference. No little gal (she is with Daddy), no BF (he is at pool league) and no cell (left it in vehicle). Awesome. This little adventure took my stress level down about 33 degrees (haven't exactly developed a degree SCALE per se, but I assure you that 33 is a bunch) and frankly, there is nothing better than getting what you need from the library and rewarding yourself with some retail therapy. I highly recommend a quiet trip to the local bookseller for a stress buster now and again. I can't do this too often, as I am likely to buy too many fashion mags, books I intend to give as gifts then keep, and self help publications that don't really help. One can go broke doing this, so I try to keep it to a minimum. Broke is not part of my 2009 Zen Plan either, you feel me?
My tip of the day is obviously the trip to the bookstore, but I also think that as much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE retail, wherever it might be, sometimes it's just the quiet we all need as mommies. That amazing silence that makes you miss the noise but feel grateful for the lack of it at the same time, you know? Ick, this is starting to sound very "end of Jerry Springer Show" So be nice to you neighbors and all that.......
I was, and this will sound mean and selfish but it's true, so glad to head off to the library/Barnes and Noble today after an extemely boring day at work and have ZERO interference. No little gal (she is with Daddy), no BF (he is at pool league) and no cell (left it in vehicle). Awesome. This little adventure took my stress level down about 33 degrees (haven't exactly developed a degree SCALE per se, but I assure you that 33 is a bunch) and frankly, there is nothing better than getting what you need from the library and rewarding yourself with some retail therapy. I highly recommend a quiet trip to the local bookseller for a stress buster now and again. I can't do this too often, as I am likely to buy too many fashion mags, books I intend to give as gifts then keep, and self help publications that don't really help. One can go broke doing this, so I try to keep it to a minimum. Broke is not part of my 2009 Zen Plan either, you feel me?
My tip of the day is obviously the trip to the bookstore, but I also think that as much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE retail, wherever it might be, sometimes it's just the quiet we all need as mommies. That amazing silence that makes you miss the noise but feel grateful for the lack of it at the same time, you know? Ick, this is starting to sound very "end of Jerry Springer Show" So be nice to you neighbors and all that.......
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Death Stare at Johnny B's
OK, here is what I would like to know....
What normal, adult human being gives the Death Stare to a 3 year old?
We were at the sub place tonight, and this particular establishment also happens to specialize in frozen custard. Since my little angel ate all her dinner (good girl!), I told her we could go up and she could get dessert. So she decides on flavor, but the food/custard employee is busy ringing out some food customers. I tell the little gal to hold on, but, as 3 year old patience is fairly low, she cuts into the food line and says to the worker; "Please I can have some ice cream?" Now, I thought that this was pretty cute even though it was kinda bad manners, but again, the kid is 3. The worker tells her "Hold on sweetie, I'll be right there.", and I look up to see this lady in the line giving my daughter the freaking Death Stare! You would have thought the kid was 21 and zipped up to the front of the line to ask for a drink refill or some s**t like that. So, natch, I have to give the fat ass beeeeyotch the even bigger "You-Are-Going-Straight-To-Hell" Stare back. I mean, come on, it's a little girl. The other people in line were giggling, primarily because it's CUTE! So, Fatty McSub Snorker, if you are out there and reading this, take your bitterness out on someone a wee bit closer to your age if you must, but stop being evil to small children, especially when their mommies are watching. Because mommies are totally equipped to rip your head off. So there, beeyotch.
Oh and we had a great dinner anyway.
What normal, adult human being gives the Death Stare to a 3 year old?
We were at the sub place tonight, and this particular establishment also happens to specialize in frozen custard. Since my little angel ate all her dinner (good girl!), I told her we could go up and she could get dessert. So she decides on flavor, but the food/custard employee is busy ringing out some food customers. I tell the little gal to hold on, but, as 3 year old patience is fairly low, she cuts into the food line and says to the worker; "Please I can have some ice cream?" Now, I thought that this was pretty cute even though it was kinda bad manners, but again, the kid is 3. The worker tells her "Hold on sweetie, I'll be right there.", and I look up to see this lady in the line giving my daughter the freaking Death Stare! You would have thought the kid was 21 and zipped up to the front of the line to ask for a drink refill or some s**t like that. So, natch, I have to give the fat ass beeeeyotch the even bigger "You-Are-Going-Straight-To-Hell" Stare back. I mean, come on, it's a little girl. The other people in line were giggling, primarily because it's CUTE! So, Fatty McSub Snorker, if you are out there and reading this, take your bitterness out on someone a wee bit closer to your age if you must, but stop being evil to small children, especially when their mommies are watching. Because mommies are totally equipped to rip your head off. So there, beeyotch.
Oh and we had a great dinner anyway.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Tip of the Day
Oh yeah:
Get a headset for that phone. Cell, land line, bag phone, whatever. Get one. At least when the hungry, crazy, cartwheeling masses want something, you can retrieve it without having to put the phone down or giving yourself a huge neck cramp. Target, Wal Mart, Kroger, they all have them for a reasonable price. And frankly, being able to do two things at once is invaluable.
Dancing on the table with fruit snacks in my hand.....
Get a headset for that phone. Cell, land line, bag phone, whatever. Get one. At least when the hungry, crazy, cartwheeling masses want something, you can retrieve it without having to put the phone down or giving yourself a huge neck cramp. Target, Wal Mart, Kroger, they all have them for a reasonable price. And frankly, being able to do two things at once is invaluable.
Dancing on the table with fruit snacks in my hand.....
On The Phone...Interrupted
K. Why is it that when there are other people in the home, resident or not, human or not, they ignore you until you pick up the phone?
I am sure I was guilty of this as a child, but it drives me 'round the bend and I am not sure how the Conversation Interruption Phenomenon occurs. What I do know is that its very annoying existence rears its ugly head at least 5 times daily. I can be sitting there STARING at whomever is in the room, dancing on the coffee table trying to get the attention of Boo, who is watching Spongebob, or calling all over the house for the dog and what do I get? NADA! But I can pick up the phone and speed dial Time and Weather and BAM, everybody wants something.
Dog wants chew bone, kid wants snack, boyfriend wants remote, "Where-is-the KIIIIITTTTEEENNN MAMA!", you name it.
Now, if it is an important conversation, say, with the Pharmacy about Xanax, or Dish Network because there is noting but snow on the TV screen, then the antics become even more over-the-top, and now THEY are the ones dancing on the coffee table trying to gain a little shred of what's left of my attention span. Thank the Lord women are born with the multi -tasking gene, otherwise everyone else would be totally screwed.
I can't tell you how many times I have had to ask some poor and surely overworked customer service representative from some service I require to please hold while I ask the screaming toddler next to me what she needs so that said Customer Service Rep still has his or her hearing in tact at the end of the day. I am sure they love being asked to hold too, right? Because now I am stealing THEIR job of asking me to hold at length while they "check the computer". Meanwhile my dog just did a cartwheel and my boyfriend is putting silk sweaters in the dryer, just "trying to help". Awesome.
I love the phone but I am only using it while locked in the loo from now on.
Trying to find the headset......
I am sure I was guilty of this as a child, but it drives me 'round the bend and I am not sure how the Conversation Interruption Phenomenon occurs. What I do know is that its very annoying existence rears its ugly head at least 5 times daily. I can be sitting there STARING at whomever is in the room, dancing on the coffee table trying to get the attention of Boo, who is watching Spongebob, or calling all over the house for the dog and what do I get? NADA! But I can pick up the phone and speed dial Time and Weather and BAM, everybody wants something.
Dog wants chew bone, kid wants snack, boyfriend wants remote, "Where-is-the KIIIIITTTTEEENNN MAMA!", you name it.
Now, if it is an important conversation, say, with the Pharmacy about Xanax, or Dish Network because there is noting but snow on the TV screen, then the antics become even more over-the-top, and now THEY are the ones dancing on the coffee table trying to gain a little shred of what's left of my attention span. Thank the Lord women are born with the multi -tasking gene, otherwise everyone else would be totally screwed.
I can't tell you how many times I have had to ask some poor and surely overworked customer service representative from some service I require to please hold while I ask the screaming toddler next to me what she needs so that said Customer Service Rep still has his or her hearing in tact at the end of the day. I am sure they love being asked to hold too, right? Because now I am stealing THEIR job of asking me to hold at length while they "check the computer". Meanwhile my dog just did a cartwheel and my boyfriend is putting silk sweaters in the dryer, just "trying to help". Awesome.
I love the phone but I am only using it while locked in the loo from now on.
Trying to find the headset......
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Seems Like A Piece Of Cake
SO, like it says under the title, I am trying, with some teeny tiny degree of success to Channel My Inner Gandhi and make 2009 my first chilled out year since my daughter came IN and my husband went OUT of my life. I have been reading books and bought myself a nice yoga video to go with my 4 year old, unused, yoga mat. So I'm gonna give it a try. All the literature and the video descriptions make freeing myself from stress look so easy.....
Baby Boo is off with Daddy this weekend, so working on starting this blog and staying cool is relatively effortless. Especially since I was out watching the BF's band play until 1am and have been rendered completely unable to leave my chair. I am WAAAAY too old to be hanging out in pubs til 1am. I can barely function and no amount of Diet Coke seems to be turning on the motivation today. But tomorrow is another (hectic) day. I can make up for it and then some.
I am, as a part-time professional organizer, fairly confident that getting my proverbial s**t together will seriously help on the stress front. I am also fairly confident that if I could find the s**t and figure out what to do with all the s**t, I would finally reach Nirvana and could quit all this yoga bullcrap. Sort of like Doctor, Heal Thyself, right? Easy peasy to help everyone else, but me? No way.
All I know it that I am NOT getting roped into a yoga class in one of those 500 degree centigrade rooms. Nuh-uh. Not happening. I feel faint just thinking about it. I am pretty sure I can reach that elusive state of bliss without dying of heat stroke and thirst. Baby Boo needs me, stressed out or not.
Namaste.
Baby Boo is off with Daddy this weekend, so working on starting this blog and staying cool is relatively effortless. Especially since I was out watching the BF's band play until 1am and have been rendered completely unable to leave my chair. I am WAAAAY too old to be hanging out in pubs til 1am. I can barely function and no amount of Diet Coke seems to be turning on the motivation today. But tomorrow is another (hectic) day. I can make up for it and then some.
I am, as a part-time professional organizer, fairly confident that getting my proverbial s**t together will seriously help on the stress front. I am also fairly confident that if I could find the s**t and figure out what to do with all the s**t, I would finally reach Nirvana and could quit all this yoga bullcrap. Sort of like Doctor, Heal Thyself, right? Easy peasy to help everyone else, but me? No way.
All I know it that I am NOT getting roped into a yoga class in one of those 500 degree centigrade rooms. Nuh-uh. Not happening. I feel faint just thinking about it. I am pretty sure I can reach that elusive state of bliss without dying of heat stroke and thirst. Baby Boo needs me, stressed out or not.
Namaste.
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